Predator also spawned lesser-known political careers
Matthew Provance
Issue date: 5/29/07 Section: Humor
THE PREDATOR
Predator was determined to break into the entertainment industry despite his unique appearance. After several off-Broadway plays including A Raisin in the Sun and a theatrical adaptation of Caddyshack he struck gold with the Predator franchise and dreamed of a lucrative career as Hollywood royalty. However, after being bounced around several talent agencies, Predator began to realize that his role in Predator had type-casted him and precluded him from booking other roles. Dejected, he enrolled at Chico State in 1992 to study electrical engineering, eventually going on to write his thesis paper on shoulder-laser technology. Predator became active in student government as a freshman when his dorm's policy on quiet hours prevented him from hunting and de-skulling his floormates. His spirit of activism continued until his tragic death at the hands of Danny Glover, who was visiting as a guest speaker. Chico State students responded by erecting an eternal flame in his honor, which was left unattended and extinguished three days later.
CARL WEATHERS
Carl Weathers was never a man to rest on his laurels. When his cinematic roles began to dry up in the mid-1990s due to a vicious Hollywood rumor that he and Bill Dee Williams were actually the same person, he sought a second career in the practice of law. After graduating from Yale, he began working as a prosecutor in Chicago's south side. It was widely rumored at the time that Weathers' sweet moustache had actually taken the bar exam by itself while Carl slept in. It wasn't long before the governor of Illinois came calling and appointed Weathers as municipal judge. Since then, Weathers has become known for using his equitable discretion to sentence first-time offenders to bizarre training montages (similar to the one found in Rocky III) and for ditching the traditional black robe in exchange for his "Uncle Sam" outfit made famous in Rocky IV. Despite his unorthodox style, Weathers' methods appear to be working: crime is down in Chicago for the first time in decades.
Predator was determined to break into the entertainment industry despite his unique appearance. After several off-Broadway plays including A Raisin in the Sun and a theatrical adaptation of Caddyshack he struck gold with the Predator franchise and dreamed of a lucrative career as Hollywood royalty. However, after being bounced around several talent agencies, Predator began to realize that his role in Predator had type-casted him and precluded him from booking other roles. Dejected, he enrolled at Chico State in 1992 to study electrical engineering, eventually going on to write his thesis paper on shoulder-laser technology. Predator became active in student government as a freshman when his dorm's policy on quiet hours prevented him from hunting and de-skulling his floormates. His spirit of activism continued until his tragic death at the hands of Danny Glover, who was visiting as a guest speaker. Chico State students responded by erecting an eternal flame in his honor, which was left unattended and extinguished three days later.
CARL WEATHERS
Carl Weathers was never a man to rest on his laurels. When his cinematic roles began to dry up in the mid-1990s due to a vicious Hollywood rumor that he and Bill Dee Williams were actually the same person, he sought a second career in the practice of law. After graduating from Yale, he began working as a prosecutor in Chicago's south side. It was widely rumored at the time that Weathers' sweet moustache had actually taken the bar exam by itself while Carl slept in. It wasn't long before the governor of Illinois came calling and appointed Weathers as municipal judge. Since then, Weathers has become known for using his equitable discretion to sentence first-time offenders to bizarre training montages (similar to the one found in Rocky III) and for ditching the traditional black robe in exchange for his "Uncle Sam" outfit made famous in Rocky IV. Despite his unorthodox style, Weathers' methods appear to be working: crime is down in Chicago for the first time in decades.
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