The Sentinel

Issue date: 10/14/09 Section: Humor

Americans around the country are increasingly growing upset at the performance of the newest president they picked out during last year's Buy-One-Get-A-Vice-President-FREE sales event.

After carefully reading consumer reports, meticulous online research and comparing Obama's specifications to those of his competitors, citizens around the country agreed that Obama was younger than McCain and also had "cooler commercials." Yet despite this careful preparation, many American consumers are now going through what experts call "buyer's remorse."

"All the commercials promised an easy life if only I called the number on the screen and got this Obama guy. But so far, it has caused me nothing but headaches" said Jason from Toledo.

"I picked Obama because of all the pretty packaging and his nice-sounding voice," said Martha from Nashville, "But I guess I forgot to read the fine print and that's what got me into all this mess."

Consumer watchdog groups are protesting this apparent lack of honesty from the Obama Company. "All (Obama) promised was "hope" and "change" without ever going into the details of what that meant" said a group's spokesperson. "He should have stated right up front that he was going to take personal control of the car industry, bank industry, health industry, the energy industry and possibly even the food industry."

Many others agree that they didn't get what they thought they paid for. "The Obama package was supposed to lower our taxes. But now that I signed the contract, I find out that they changed their tune and are now going to instead INCREASE my taxes and even jack up my gas and electric bills" said Paul of Miami, FL. "Whatever happened to truth in advertising?"

As millions of Americans now seek to get a refund for their presidential pick, they are surprised to discover themselves being told that the return policy officially states: "Too Bad Suckers!" This just goes to show how careful people have to be before making a big-ticket decision and shouldn't be too easily swayed by what they see on TV. As one anonymous citizen said as he reflected on his poor presidential choice, "I chose Obama because Scarlett Johansson said he was 'cool'. I guess I should have realized he would have been just as big of a disaster as her movies."

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